How He Fell On His Buttocks; the true story

The day was hot, the date July 9, 2008. Jeremy toiled up the steep, rocky path, packing forty pounds of paragliding equipment on his sweaty back. At the top of the “Y,” Jeremy baked under the July sun for a few hours, waiting for the air to calm. Before take-off he told his instructor that he was too tired to try thermaling. He planned to fly straight to the landing sight at Kiwanis Park in Provo, Utah. Little did he know that this, his sixtieth flight, would also be his last (or so we think at this point).

As Jeremy soared closer to the park he noticed a lot of turbulence in the air. After making many S-turns to manuever the landing, Jeremy realized the thermals were keeping him up to high. Hoping to land quickly before the next glider came in, he decided to make a long sweeping turn away from the park. Unfortunately, once he came around he realized he might be too low to clear the power lines and trees at the park. Jeremy chose to try an emergency landing on a residential street free of power lines.

(tarzan yell) WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!

The right wing of the glider hit a tree, spinning the left side around. The glider collapsed leaving 15-20 feet of air between Jeremy's backside and the asphalt. There wasn't time for him to get out of the reclining postion. He landed on his rear end with only an inch of padding in the harness to cushion the fall.

He immediately realized he couldn't move or feel his legs. A woman came up and asked him if she should call 911. "Yes, please," he answered. People rushed out from their houses. A paraglider/fireman argued with the police over what to do with Jeremy. Jeremy simply said, “Shut up.” Luckily, Jeremy crashed on a street where resides a camera man who works for a local TV station. Identified as ‘an unidentified man,’ Jeremy received his five minutes of fame on the news that evening. We haven’t actually seen the spot yet, but we have been informed it shows him being loaded onto the ambulance. While riding in the ambulance, Jeremy remembers the pain coming on strong. The morphine wasn't enough. He was taken to UVRMC in Provo and admitted to the ER.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…Jeremy’s beautiful wife Wendy was busily preparing two luscious pies for her grandfather’s birthday. She recalls praying that her lemon meringue pie would set. While hurrying the girls out the door, she received a suspicious phone call. Believing it to be a telemarketer she almost hung up. The words ‘husband’ and ‘hospital’ finally caught her attention. She dropped the girls off at grandma’s and, along with her lovely mom, drove to the hospital, prepared to laugh at her husband for landing himself in the ER and berate him for adding more expense to his expensive hobby. Needless to say, she decided not to laugh at or berate him…yet.