Rome Is Home

It's Been a Long Time, I Shouldn't Have Left You Without a Dope Video

2010-05-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

Bonus points for anyone who can identify the allusion in the title...

It's been nearly a year since my last post. I am still alive and progressing, but, the progress is less visible and much harder to quantify or describe in a blog post. I'm getting pretty close to the two year anniversary of my accident, Life Day as we call it now, on July 9. In case you have forgotten, Dr. Reichman told me that I could experience improvement for up to two years after the surgery but that significant progress beyond two years was unlikely. As it gets closer it makes me think about how much progress I have made and whether or not it is enough. It has also motivated me to make whatever progress I can before I reach the two-year mark.

I often tell myself that most of my problems are conditioning and muscle strength issues, rather than the result of neurologic malfunction. Somehow that makes me feel like I can extend the clock, which is hopeful, but not motivational. The fact is, I don't know how many of my current limitations would be resolved with a more ambitious exercise regimen and how many are here to stay.

This frame of mind has made me think about how to make progress for free. So, this week I started driving with only my right leg. As a point of reference, I stopped using the left foot accelerator shortly after we moved to Michigan and started driving with two feet, my left on the brake and my right on the gas. That only took a day or two to master. That method freed me of the portable accelerator (which I think we sold, although I can't be sure) and made it possible to drive any automatic transmission vehicle without extra equipment. If I can now master driving with just my right foot, I will be able to drive manual transmission vehicles again.

Driving with one foot brought something else to my attention. When I first started driving with two feet it was a real challenge to be able to lift my right toes up enough to keep them off the gas pedal (sounds really safe I know). Dorsiflexion (being able to left up your toes) is still the greatest weakness in my right leg. However, this recent change to my driving has made me notice that I no longer have any difficulty keeping my foot off the gas pedal. In fact, I have just enough dorsiflexion to do it and no more. This can't possibly be coincidence. I am sure the repeated effort to lift my toes up enough to keep them off the gas pedal got me to where I am. So even though it is still a bit of a struggle to move my right leg between the two pedals when I drive one-footed, I am doing it in the hope that the repetition will yield further improvement.

Driving also got me thinking about what other therapy I could get for free. I have noticed that when I am standing I rest all my weight on my left leg and when I walk most of my propulsion comes from my left leg. Also, when I walk I still hyperextend my right leg so that most of the support comes from my knee locking rather than from my quad. When I bend down, I always lean to my left so that my weight is over my left leg. I have done it this way for so long that now I do it from custom, even though it is no longer necessary. In fact, I can stand on just my right leg. I can propel myself almost exclusively with my right leg, and I can squat with my weight evenly distributed. My quad has made quite a bit of progress, but I haven't limited the progress by favoring it so much. So this week I have been focusing on getting more from my normal activities by trying to do them more normally. For example, I started getting in and out of a car normally, rather than doing it like I am transferring from a walker or a wheelchair: another habit I developed. Interestingly enough, I forgot how normal people get in and out of cars. I knew I did it differently than I used to, but I couldn't remember how I used to do it. In fact, I asked Wendy and she couldn't describe how she does it either (strange how our actions become so mechanical that we cannot consciously describe them). I had to watch her do it and then really think about it to be able to do it myself.

In addition to trying to make better use of my right leg in the things I do daily, I am also trying to bring back activities I used to participate in before the accident. Wendy and I have been going down to the elementary school with the girls a few times a week. While they ride bikes and play on the playground we shoot hoops. We haven't played any one-on-one yet, but even just shooting, rebounding, dribbling, and picking up the ball are sufficiently different from my regular activities to leave me sore in different areas. Sometimes when I chase after a ball I try to "run". Running is still difficult and awkward and I feel ridiculous doing it, but I suppose using a walker and a cane looks a little ridiculous too, and if I hadn't done it I wouldn't be walking today. So I think there is more running in my future.

I am much better off than Dr. Hilmo suggested I might be (walking on braces and crutches around the house but living most of my life in a wheelchair). But I wouldn't call myself fully recovered either, as Dr. Reichman suggested was possible. I have been looking for ways to quantify my progress, both for my benefit and yours (assuming there is anyone still monitoring this blog). Recently we took the girls to a park and there was a twisty balance beam. I found that I was able to walk it, which required me to stand and balance with all my weight on my right leg (certainly not something I could do even 6 months ago). That seemed as good an indicator of my progress as anything else, so I decided to share.

The Tortoise and his two Hares

2009-08-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

Since we moved into our new house in Michigan, I have been spending quite a bit of time inside. I have projects to finish, addresses to change, tests to study for, etc. And now that I don't even have to walk from the parking lot to my office, I haven't been getting much exercise or fresh air. Fortunately, we have gone downtown a couple of times this week to see the sights, so at least I get to walk around then.

Today I needed a walk and I asked Ayden and Claire if they wanted to come with me. They got on dresses, put on shoes, got their babies (dolls) and their strollers ready and we took off. It was hilarious to see them walk. They would run and race each other with strollers careening madly down the sidewalk until they found something interesting. Then they would stop and stare at it and talk about it until I caught up and passed them. Then they would take off again to catch up to me until they found a new distraction. I felt quite a bit like the tortoise and the hare, and you can guess which part I played. I wasn't about to run, or even power walk to keep up. And I'm not sure I could have kept up if I had wanted to.

Towards the end, Ayden got tired and asked me to carry her stroller (because she didn't like the sound the wheels made when she pushed it). Claire however saw that our house was just down at the end of the street and took off running. I told her to wait for us at the corner. She got down to the corner and turned around to see us only half way down the block and decided to come back. She walked with us the rest of the way to the house. Ayden was talking to me as I walked and I could hear Claire singing some song but I didn't pay much attention to it. During a lull in the conversation, I finally caught what Claire was singing:

"If you caaann't run,

as fast as meeeee,

I'll just have to teach you,

aaaalll the time."

She repeated it over and over again all the way down the street to our house. She even came up with her own tune and stuck with it. That child's imagination never ceases to amaze me. For your entertainment, I took a video to share.

There's a hole in my living room... and in my heart

2009-07-02T19:16:00.001-07:00

There just won't be room for my reclining chair in our new house. Even so, I never thought the chair would sell so fast. And when they came to pick it up I wasn't prepared for the emotional response I would experience. The gaping hole in the living room is a fitting representation. This phase of my life has ended, and none too soon: next week makes a full year. I can't remember sitting at the desk to work, but I guess it is time to get back into the habit and leave the cripple chair behind. How did the girls feel? Claire just thought it was cool to see them disassemble the chair and Ayden was a little treasure hunter once the chair was out of the way.

I slept in my chair last night. Not as a final farewell. In fact, I didn't know it would be gone at the time. I did it because I got home after 4:00 am and I didn't want to go into the bedroom and wake Wendy. I was up late finishing slides for my thesis defense. While it is true that I have had months to finish them, what would life be without procrastination?

My thesis defense went well, although longer than I expected. One of my committee members asked a lot of questions. However, they were questions of curiosity about my work, so I didn't feel intimidated. My committee gave a very favorable report, so I was pleased. Also, I was informed on Tuesday that the main results for my thesis have been accepted for publication in the Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics Journal on Matrix Analysis and Applications.

On a sadder note, our first choice for a house fell through. The inspector found very serious foundational issues, so we bailed. We are working on putting in an offer for our next choice: cross your fingers. This one was built in 1971, rather than 1925, so hopefully we can avoid foundations slowly sinking into the Michigan mud on this one.

Run Forrest Run!

2009-05-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

Some of you have had the privilege of seeing me run. Others of you have not been so fortunate. Wendy took a video of me running while we were playing outside with the girls. I decided to post it so you can all see my progress. To put this in context, I constructed a timeline of my advancements so you can see how long it has taken to be able to do certain activities.

1 week - I start rehab.
2.5 weeks - I can roll myself over in bed.
1 month - I get out of rehab. By this point I can walk about 30 feet on a walker before collapsing.
1.5 months - I start climbing steps. I can also take a few steps on my own although I fall a couple of times attemping this. My distance on the walker is improving (I can make it several hundred feet at a time now).
2.5 months - I am mostly using the walker now. I only use the wheelchair for convenience (now that I finally have one that is).
3 months - I am starting to see some progress in my right quad. I can straighten it when lying on my side in bed. Also, I am starting to stray from the walker. I purchase a cane.
4 months - I exchange my plastic shell for a corset. I can just barely raise my right leg leg against gravity (while I am sitting in a chair). I start using a treadmill with a lot of upper body assistance, and fall in the process.
5 months - I am walking most places without a cane now (this is December). In fact, the first week of January I travel to D.C. and that is the last time I take my cane anywhere. I can also drive (with my left foot).
6 months - My corset comes off, so no more back braces. The only piece of mobility equipment I still use is the left-foot accelerator in the car. I also try my hand at bowling for the first time (not too pretty).
7 months - I am getting around well enough to do major projects around the house. For example, I put in a new bathroom sink.
8 months - I am walking well enough that most people don't notice anything different unless they see me go up or down stairs. In fact, I fool everybody I meet on my trip to Ann Arbor, MI.
9 months - I can completely straighten my right leg against gravity, so there is noticeable improvement in my quad. I can also start to lift a meaningful amount of weight with my right leg.
10 months - I sell all of my equipment except my novelty cane and my left foot accelerator (which I still need). I don't think anymore about distances; I can walk as far as I want to.

I guess I didn't mention that I sold all the other equipment: wheelchair, walker, shower bench, etc. I finally didn't need it anymore and we decided to get rid of it before we moved.

And now, just short of 11 months, I can jump (a little) and run (kind of). Here it is for your amazement. It looks pretty ridiculous, so feel free to laugh; I always do.

Pumping Iron

2009-04-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

For the last several months I have been going to the gym twice a week (uhem, well, I've been trying at least). I have been frustrated trying to exercise my right quad because it is so week that I can't really do most of the exercises. If I do squats, all my weight is on my left leg. On the quad machine, if I use both legs, it's hard for my right leg to even maintain contact with the weight bar. On the other hand, if I just use my right leg, I can't make it budge at even the lowest setting. At the end of a workout, only my left leg felt fatigued. Of course, that has led to a rather large left leg, which only accentuates the difference between the two. It has been frustrating to say the least.

Lately I have had some success on the leg press. The leg press is a weight machine where you sit in a reclined position, put your feet up on a platform, and press down to lift the weight. The motion is similar to squatting or jumping. I can push quite a bit of weight with both legs. When I started I could barely push the first weight level (about 30 pounds) using just my right leg. Of course, if I want to jump I had better be able to do more than that.

Two weeks ago I had the idea to try negatives. I put the leg press on a setting that is a little higher than what I can push with just my right leg and use both legs to fully extend my knees. Then I take my left leg off and try to keep the leg press from falling back. When I started two weeks ago, I couldn't even keep the level 2 setting (60 pounds) from falling back. In fact, I couldn't even slow it down much. I had to catch it with my left leg to keep the weight from crashing down.

Today I was shocked to discover that I can now push through a full range of motion with just my right leg on a level 4 setting: 100 pounds. That is nearly one-tenth of my body weight (ha, ok, just a little exaggeration). I was pretty excited. I have been wondering if I am even making progress. Apparently the negatives are doing wonders and the consistency is starting to show. At this rate I will be running and jumping again in no time.

You're spine is so... twisted

2009-04-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

I had my "last" doctor's appointment with neurosurgery today (there's a chance they want me to come in for another one). He told me I am doing pretty well considering I should probably be paralyzed. He also said that the alignment of the titanium cage looks good and my flexion is remarkable; usually fusions in this area restrict your flexibility quite a bit so I am lucky that I can bend as well as I do.

I noticed on the X-ray that my spine seemed crooked. I looked at previous images and found that this was not new. I asked the doctor about it and he said that it is usually impossible to get things perfectly straight after a burst fracture (good to know, I guess). I suppose that explains my miraculous twisting tummy: in case you were not aware, when I flex my six pack (ha), my belly button shifts over to the right side. In fact, flexing or not I think I am little lopsided. Apparently that isn't going away any time soon.

I also found out that I have about a 20% chance of needing another surgery within 5 years. My cushy deskjob actually makes me a little less likely and I can improve my odds even more by staying slim (time to start the diet again) and doing strength training for my core. Of course, Wendy is thrilled to have a solid medical/financial reason to insist on washboard abs. I guess it can't hurt... Apparently the extra strain on the remaining vertebrae can cause some wear and shifting and sometimes it gets bad enough that they have to go in and fix it. Fortunately, my good recovery, age, and the lack of a degenerative disease all play to my favor. In any case, I think I am done going to the doctor's office. I prefer to live in ignorance (and with my money, thank you).

The Bigger They Are...

2009-04-03T21:31:00.000-07:00

As many of you know I have officially made my decision for graduate school. I accepted the offer to attend the University of Michigan and now Wendy and I have started looking for a house in the area. In spite of what Wendy says on her blog, it was a difficult decision. Both schools were outstanding and Bloomington was gorgeous. There were pros and cons to both options.

While I was visiting the University of Michigan a couple of the graduate students took us on a tour. During the tour my toe snagged and I fell. I caught myself and got right back up, but it was pretty embarrassing. My hotel roommate (Kyle) was really the only person that knew about my accident, so everyone just thought I was a klutz.

For some reason that fall started a chain of them. I almost fell while talking on the phone at my house. I just about tripped down the stairs at school, I just about lost it handing back tests in my class. It's weird because I haven't fallen in quite some time. I must have caught the falling bug in Michigan. Either that or I have just gotten lazy with my walking. I am sort of a cocky guy.

Tonight, Wendy and I were talking about my first few days in the hospital: throwing up, getting diapers changed, trying to roll over, sponge baths... what wonderful memories! It will be nine months on the 9th of this month. Nine months ago I was miserable and helpless, lying on a hospital bed. It reminds me of all the people that helped me along the way. Family members that helped take care of me in the ICU. Friends that visited and took care of the kids. Ward members that brought in meals. Doctors, surgeons, nurses, therapists, and other professionals that dealt with all my medical issues. Colleagues at school that covered my teaching assignment and donated money to help cover costs. Most importantly, Wendy. It wouldn't be fair to her to publicly admit everything she has done to take care of me. You have all been wonderful.

What a startling contrast with my current condition. On Monday night we took the girls to the park. I participated just as much as any other parent. I watched them go down slides and pushed them on the swings. I held Ayden so she could swing across the monkey bars. At the end of the night I "chased" the girls to the car. My brand of running is pretty comical, but it is starting to approximate the genuine article. I am just happy to have the balance to do something remotely close. I never have to worry about distances anymore; I can walk about as far as I want. I can completely take care of myself now and I can almost get up stairs without using hand rails. While I was in Michigan, one of the professors asked if I was going on the tour and I made a comment about keeping up. He joked that I was pretty tall: if I took big steps I should be fine. I told him about my accident and he was shocked. That always surprises me; I still feel it in every step. But most people don't notice now unless they see me go up stairs. Even then I have been told that I am starting to look pretty natural.

I can still remember my time in rehab, and yet, it seems surreal. When I was in the hospital, I could remember paragliding, but it seemed like a dream as well. Like it happened to somebody else. Now the same is happening with the accident. The memories are fading. And as my strength and ability returns, it gets harder and harder to remember the struggles of those first few months.

For those of you looking for a comical post (Karen), I started out that way, but I ended a little sappy. Hopefully you don't mind. Thanks again to all of you. I couldn't have done it without you. I am thrilled to be where I am and confident that I will keep getting better.

Girls only like a cripple with great skills...

2009-02-22T18:40:00.000-08:00

Our faucet has been leaking for the last few decades and Wendy finally got sick of it and bought a new faucet. The old one was corroded and dissolving, so it needed to be done. However, the first pass at fixing it (which I was not a part of) ended with the faucet being disconnected, the cabinetry below the sink breaking, and some critical pieces missing.

Yesterday I spent the morning fixing the sink. It was not very easy since I don't wriggle and squirm around on my back as well as I used to, but we got the old cabinet out, the new one in, the faucet connected and the drain and plug working. I was feeling pretty good since even before the accident I was the kind of guy that usually broke those things and then had to call in reinforcements. Maybe my cripple status has imbued me with additional handyman skills. They say that people with a loss in one of their senses (blind, deaf, mute, etc) often compensate with some other heightened sense. Here's hoping.

I'll take Therapist for 500

2009-01-28T22:27:00.001-08:00

I saw my therapist again today. He said he can definitely see some action in my ankle/shin. There hasn't really been anything happening before now, so this is good. He also said there is noticeable improvement in my quad again. It looks like most of the muscle is activating. Now I just have to get some muscle back in there. Pretty much everything has atrophied. He did say he thought there would still be further nerve development, but I think with what I have right now I can get to where I can run and jump well enough to be somewhat active just by doing some weight training.

Bowling for... well, pins of course

2009-01-19T10:21:00.000-08:00

Wendy has been complaining that our dates are pretty boring now that I can't really do anything but eat and watch movies. I am not sure what she is talking about because even before the accident all I wanted to do was eat and watch movies. But for her sake, I decided the date-night after having restrictions lifted on my physical activity should be a fun one. It was supposed to be a family date, meaning that we were taking the kids with us. I suggested we go to the bowling alley at BYU and use my free game.

I guess the people at the bowling alley assume that people my size will use large bowling balls because all the six pound balls had really tiny finger holes. I tried to bowl twice. Let's just say that the height from which I was releasing the ball was less than desirable. I found myself looking around to see if people were giving me dirty looks for dropping the ball. Plus, I am sure I looked pretty ridiculous shuffling up to the lane to toss a little granny shot in the general direction of the pins.

The girls had a blast. Wendy and I only bowled a few times. After that, we let the girls take over. We got one of those ramps you can roll the ball down. The girls took turns hefting the six pound ball from the ball return over to the ramp (are you getting a good mental image of Claire carrying a six pound bowling ball, because it was pretty funny). I mastered the art of lining the ramp up enough to pull off a few spares. I would get things aimed right and then the girls would push the ball down. It made things easier on my back, but I still don't recommend it. Even if you line things up perfectly (which we did a couple of times), a six pound ball traveling at 1 mph is just not going to get you a strike any time soon.

Desencorsetado

2009-01-13T22:06:00.000-08:00

When the doctor switched my plastic shell to a corset just over two months ago, I got quite a kick out of it. I mean, how many guys are under doctor's orders to wear a corset? Add to that my one-sided girlish figure after I having my two lower left ribs taken out and I can really draw some stares. In order to cope with the situation, I had to make fun of it. So I made up a spanglish word: "encorsetado" to describe my trapped, corseted situation.

The time has finally come to be desencorsetado, which being interpreted would mean (if either word actually existed) unencorseted. The doctor has removed all restrictions; I can do whatever I want and I don't have to wear my corset. He did suggest that if I got sore, I could put my corset back on, which would be disunencorseted. I am not really sure how I would turn that into a spanish word, so I just refuse to do it. My liberation from (female-like) oppression occured on Monday, January 12. The next day I went to the gym after going all day without my corset. I decided not to wear my corset to the gym either. I was sore when I was done, but it felt good to be free. Plus, I didn't have to come up with any more fake spanish words.

Mr. West Goes to Washington

2009-01-09T09:34:00.000-08:00

The Joint Meeting of the AMS, MAA, and SIAM was held in Washington, D.C. from Monday, January 5 to Thursday, January 8. Because of my stunning good looks (or maybe for some other reason, I'm really not sure) I was invited to attend, all expenses paid. I didn't even submit any work, I was just fortunate enough to be able to go with some other students that did. I was in the hospital during the submission period, and I think my advisor was unsure whether or not I would be able to survive a trip to D.C. It turns out I was only barely able to survive.

Getting through security was pretty fun... at least for the rest of the group. My advisor, Jeff, just sat and laughed. I hope he enjoyed the free show. After getting all my junk on the conveyor belt, I had to get my shoes off. That turned into the Crazy Cripple Dance pretty quickly. I managed to get them off just in time to go through the metal detector, and start the alarms blaring. I forgot about my corset, which has metal rods in the back for support. I told the attendant that I was willing to take off my corset and go through again, but she just tackled me and told me I was under arrest. Actually, that part didn't really happen. They did make me wait in the booth for someone to come give me a pat down. That took an extra fifteen minutes, and then it was time for the Crazy Cripple Dance (reprise) while I tried to get my shoes back on. I almost fell over in the process.

We stayed in the Washington Hilton, which was about a mile walk from the Marriott where the conference was being held. I thought I had done a lot of walking before this trip. I had no idea. Our plane landed in D.C. at about 10:30 pm Sunday night and then we had to take the Metro and walk to our hotel. With all the luggage I was dragging around, I almost decided to just sleep in an alley that night. Everyone else in my group was getting a little frustrated with me that night, and rightfully so. Most people don't really want to be walking down the street in D.C. at 11:00 pm carrying luggage. It's pretty obvious that you are an outsider. They were all trying to hurry to the hotel and I was falling behind. In my defense, we didn't really know how to get to the hotel and we ended up taking the long way around.

The rest of the week was great. The conference was good. The food was good (I ate at Chipotle for lunch all four days)! I even got to visit with Heidi, Andy, Noah, and Micah (my sister and her family) one evening. I didn't do any sight-seeing; the thought of walking around in the name of fun just didn't sit right with me. I took my cane with me to D.C. thinking it would help me get around, but it seems that I have permanently outgrown that because it was just an annoyance. I don't think it helped at all.

For the trip back home, I took off my corset when I went through security in D.C. Everybody in my group thought the metal in my back would still set off the metal detector and turn me into a life-long terrorist threat in airports. Fortunately for me, I cleared security without a problem. I was strapping on my corset on the other side of the metal detector when I was approached by one of the security agents. I was expecting more grief about my cane or my corset until I saw the awed look in his eyes. "Are you coming back from Iraq?" was his question. I had to suppress a smile. "No, just a paragliding accident." He seemed a little disappointed but tried to sound interested. "Oh, that must have hurt."

Driving Again (Legally that is)

2008-12-09T21:13:00.000-08:00

I wrote some time ago about taking the driving evaluation with one of the therapists at UVRMC. Even though that went smoothly, that was not the end of the driving story. The DMV never officially revoked my license when the accident occurred. In fact, they never knew about it. At least that is, they didn't until the rehab center sent in the report from my driving evaluation. Even though their report was that I was very able physically to continue driving and that my mental status was no worse than it previously was, the DMV decided that I need to take a driving test with them. You know, the regular "I'm sixteen and I want to get my license now" test. The one where they test all those important skills like whether or not you turn the tire into the curb when parking downhill and away from the curb when parking uphill and making sure you keep your hands at 10 and 2. So just to recap: when I had my debilitating accident which left me paralized from the waist down, the doctors office said nothing and the DMV did nothing. When I recovered enough to pass a physical exam with flying colors and receive a doctor's whole hearted endorsement, the DMV decided they need to retest my basic driving competence. Apparently getting paralized can cause you to forget what a stop sign looks like.

Of course, when I go the notification from the DMV I had already been driving. They informed me that I needed to take a driving test within 60 days or my license would be revoked. Now, my license was set for renewal on my birthday anyway, so I was at least going to have to send in forms. But I hadn't planned on having to schedule and take a test. Of course, my rational solution to the problem was to procrastinate scheduling my exam. It is a pretty effective approach actually: the silent protest, which only I know about and that only affects me. Anyway, by the time I got around to scheduling the exam, the DMV was just plumb booked until December 9th. (Wow, the waiting time to take that driving test is like 2 weeks! Incredible. I can buy 5 cars in the time it takes to get permission to drive one). I told them about my hard and fast deadline (which was November 20-ish). They assured me that if I had an exam scheduled I would be just fine. However, that fateful letter appeared on about the 4th of December informing me that my license had been revoked as of the 24th of November. I figured if I have been driving illegally for two weeks, why stop now? So I just kept driving.

Well, today I went in to take my test. The guys at the DMV weren't even sure what to do with me. One of them recognized me from when I got my motorcycle endorsement because his son is the only other Jeremy Michael West in the state of Utah that is registered to drive. He even asked: "Did you forget how to drive?" Of course I passed without problems. Although I lost a few points for driving one handed at one point and for forgetting to signal while demonstrating my parallel parking skills in the DMV PARKING LOT (who signals in the back of an empty parking while parallel parking between some cones?)! I think the examiner was just mad that I was able to parallel park so well the first time... Anyway, they asked if I wanted a new picture. I said that the old one was fine just to speed the process up. But then he told me that my picture was too old and I had to take a new one. Now remember, before the accident they were going to renew it with just a mailed in form, no new picture. But apparently taking a test necessitates a new picture. Also, the fact that my license had expired necessitated some extra forms. Anyway, it was the typical DMV experience, but the good news is that I am driving now.

On a lighter, less sarcastic/bitter note: I am off the cane (which most of you at church probably know by now). I am walking on my own power now. I still have some shortcomings in my right leg that keeps me from running on jumping, but I can stand and walk about as much as I want. Over the Thanksgiving break I even played a rousing game of stationary volleyball (meaning I covered about a square yard and everyone else ran around me to get the other balls). It was fun to pretend that I can play volleyball again at least.

Happy Birthday to Me

2008-11-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, yesterday was my birthday. It seems fitting to give a general overview of my progress, particularly since I am now about a week past the 4 month mark.

Most of the talk lately has been about the progress in my quad. Things are still not perfect, but I am definitely seeing improvement. I have posted a video of me lifting my leg (no, I am not a dog) so that you can see how I am doing. Remember that a month ago I couldn't get my leg to even move in this direction. Wendy couldn't resist panning to my face at the end...

The real question is, how does all that strength in my quad translate into activity. The answer: I have stopped using my cane around the Talmage building, which is where my office and my classes are. As long as I am not leaving the building, I walk unassisted. I still have a strange limp, but it's progress. When I am going further, like to the Wilkenson center or the library, I use my cane. It wasn't too long ago that I was thrilled to be able to use a walker around the Talmage building and a wheelchair to get to the library.

I had Wendy take another video of some of the activities that have improved the most. Notice the sit-to-stands from the low couch and the reasonable walking. Also, there have been many questions about my eligibility for this Christmas's soccer season, which I addressed at the end of the video.

Why treadmills have emergency shutoffs

2008-11-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

I had therapy today with Shane and he added some more exercises to my routine. Some are to strengthen my right leg, some are to increase my walking stamina, some are to improve my gait, and some are to strengthen and stretch my torso now that I have a little more flexibility from the doctor. One of the things he wants me to do is walk on a treadmill. Nothing fancy, just walk. Since a treadmill is constantly moving backwards, Shane says walking on it is a little different than walking normally. You have work a little hard to maintain a consistent pace. For those of us that walk like drunken sailors, weaving back and forth to maintain our balance, that means I have to work hard to keep up. Normally, if I get off balance, I will naturally take a step to one side to compensate. On a treadmill, I can't do that because I would get behind. So that was my mission, start walking, increase the pace until it gets challenging, and then walk for a few minutes.

So, tonight, during my regularly scheduled time, I went to the BYU gym to do my workout. At first I tried walking on the treadmill while holding onto the bars. Of course, that is pretty easy and doesn't require a lot of balance. So after a while I let go and started walking on my own power. I got myself up to about 2.5 miles/hour and I walked for about a minute. Then I took a step with my right leg and didn't get my toe up enough. Of course, that made me stumble a little. Unfortunately, on a treadmill you don't have time to stumble. So I grabbed the bars. I caught myself to keep from falling, but my legs were still on the treadmill and moving backwards at a speed of 2.5 miles/hour. Soon enough my feet reached the end of the treadmill and fell off and I found myself hanging on in a superman position over the treadmill.

As I held on, I noticed right in front of my nose was a little magnet with a tether and instructions saying: "Emergency shutoff, attach lanyard when in use." The idea is that if you fall like that or get behind, the magnet pulls off and shuts off the treadmill. Because most people are too cool and too coordinated for such things, the lanyard had been wrapped around the bar to keep it out of the way; so I hadn't noticed it.

I managed to step up onto the sides of the treadmill and walk my way back up into a standing position. I stopped the treadmill and then looked around to see how many other people in the gym were laughing at me. Fortunately, most people had already had their laugh and moved on by the time I looked around, so I can pretend that no one noticed. Needless to say, I decided that it would be less embarrassing to clip the uncool lanyard to my shirt than to offer a repeat performance. Fortunately, the next 3 minutes went off without a hitch. The good news is that I made it for a total of about 4 minutes on the treadmill at a pace of about 2.5 miles/hour. Nothing dramatic, but it seemed like good progress to me. And remember, that was without holding on, or using a cane or a walker. And if my math skills are as good as they ought to be after 6 years, that means I walked almost 900 feet all on my own.

They're the expensive kind: unshelled

2008-11-05T07:26:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, I have been living in a shell for the last four months. I didn't mind it too much at first, but lately it has been driving me nuts. Whenever I come home, the first thing I do is sit down on my chair so I can get the shell off of me. The smell that comes out of it is terrible. In fact, when Ayden climbs up on my lap, she usually comments: "Daddy, you smell like shell". Needless to say I have been anxious to get it off.

Yesterday I had an appointment at Dr. Reichman's office. I was very prepared for the terrible news that I would have to stay in this shell on for another month. However, when I went in for X-rays, the tech told me that the Dr.'s office had ordered a flexion and extension test. For the test, I get out of my shell and take two extra X-rays: one with me leaning forward (flexion), and one with me leaning back (extension). I knew from previous visits to Dr. Reichman's office that they only order this test if they are considering getting you out of the shell, since it can be dangerous to do if you aren't ready yet. So I got excited.

The result was mixed however. The fusion is not completely solid, but it is doing really well. The good news is that I am done with this shell. The bad news is that I get to trade it for a thoraco-lumbar corset. That's right, I am leaving my shell for a corset. Ironically, as I became more annoyed with the shell, I started calling it my bra. So I am trading my bra for a corset. Unfortunately, the switch means that I get some extra therapy and I get to purchase a corset, hence, the doctor's visit was the expensive kind: unshelled.

The corset supposedly only goes from hips to belly button-ish. It is also soft, so it is more of a support and less of a brace. The idea is that it will keep me from really messing things up but should be more comfortable and will allow me to ease into using my stomach muscles again. I have an appointment for tomorrow (Thursday, Nov. 6) to get fitted, so I am still stuck in this shell for another day and a half. But tomorrow is redemption day.

Prognosis: I have an appointment just after the first of the year. They will check one more set of X-rays and if everything is good, I should be out of the shell and pronounced whole. In other words, the fusion should be solid and the doctor will give me the OK to continue normal activities and I won't have to wear anything special.

The force is strong with you young (Sky)walker

2008-10-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

My new walker arrived today. I guess I owe the good folks at InvaCare a thank you for deciding to honor their manufacturer's warranty. It worked out well in the end. I used the cane for a while, and I probably still will to some extent. So now I know I can do that. I got some good exercise from it. Plus, the new walker is taller, folds up smaller, and is a cooler color. Hard to go wrong.

I had therapy today and my right quad has again made some pretty impressive progress. I am able to do some serious gravity defy-ing these days when I am kicking out. Still not all the way, or even most of the way, back to normal, but we are making progress. Also, the neuropathic pain I get in my right leg seems to occur now only when something makes contact with my leg (in the shower, when I put my pants on, etc.) which my therapist says is probably a good sign that sensation is slowly returning. We shall see...

No more presents

2008-10-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

Ayden told me today that I can't have any more presents. I asked her what she meant and she started listing off all the presents I have been getting lately: the shower bench, the toilet seat, the grab bar, the wheel chair, the walker, the cane, the left foot gas pedal, etc. As far as she is concerned, these are all presents. I asked her if she means that I don't get any more presents on my birthday and Christmas and she said: "no, you can have some presents on your birthday and Christmas but you can't get more presents when you want them." So that settles it. No more gimp gadgets for me.

Unfortunately for Ayden, I am supposedly getting a new walker. I basically had to threaten InvaCare with a law suit to get it, but it looks like they are going to ship one. I shouldn't speak to soon though since I haven't actually had a confirmation yet. In the meantime I have been using my cane a lot. I prefer it over the walker, but I probably should still be using the walker until the shell comes off, just to be safe. I am also not supposed to be lifting or carrying so the walker comes in handy going to and from school when I have my backpack. However, I have my next appointment on Nov. 4 - just five days shy of the 4 month mark - and I am really hoping that they let me take it off at that appointment. Wendy and I had our anniversary and we had a great time. I amazed her with my incredible stamina and my awesome walking and wheeling skills (we took the cane and the wheelchair). You can check out some fun pictures at the family blog.

The News Story

2008-10-10T20:00:00.001-07:00

I received a DVD today from the videographer that shot footage of the accident and wrote the follow-up story. He gave my the original TV version of the follow-up story and the footage he shot from the accident. I posted the news story on YouTube and I am embedding it here so you can view it.

I have to admit that watching the original footage was kind of hard. When it is short clips in a news story with the narrative and everything it seems dramatized to the point of not being real. Watching the segments of video he shot with the original sound made it seem more authentic. It brought back some unpleasant memories. I had forgotten, until I watched it, how it felt to hit the pavement and how I felt while I lay in the street. Even Wendy said it was hard to watch and Ayden got a little upset by the small part that she saw. It isn't graphic, but it's hard to watch knowing it is me.

The original footage is pretty long and pretty big so I haven't posted it. I suppose if there is enough demand I can take some clips out and post them. Or local residents can just watch it the next time they see me with my laptop.

3 Months Broken

2008-10-09T20:08:00.000-07:00

Well, today makes three months since the accident. At this point I am outpacing my equipment by leaps and bounds. I got my wheelchair but one of the handles is broken. The wheelchair company wants me to take the handle off, pay to ship it to them, and then when they get it they will mail me a new one so that I can put it together. They shipped it broken. It makes me want to just return the whole thing and say forget it.

Tonight my walker broke. And I don't mean the handle or something. I mean the metal frame snapped clean in half. I was shocked. It supposedly has a 300 pound weight limit, which is substantially more than my current 210 lbs. Wendy taped it back together to try and keep it working until we can get a replacement. I have posted a picture since it looks pretty hilarious. If I didn't draw stares at school just with a walker, I certainly will now.

Meanwhile, I am progressing well now. I went so long without any progress in my right leg that I started getting nervous. Now my quad has gotten a lot stronger. I got it off the table doing leg lifts the other day and I have caught myself several times when my knee buckles. I just hope that my walker/wheelchair/cane will last long enough for me to recover. What a joke!

I must be getting better

2008-10-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

I must be getting better because I am getting ornery. I am really getting sick of my shell now. Every day I count down until the day I "might" be able to take it off. I am really hoping for my birthday, if not earlier. Of course, when that day finally comes it will be terrible since I won't be able to make it more than 15 minutes without my shell. My back still hurts if I sit without it too long. But at least then the real healing can begin and I can start feeling like a normal person again.

I am also getting sick of my walker. It seems like it is too big and clunky and I am starting to feel like I am ready to move beyond it. In fact, I have already ordered my cane. Sneak preview: it looks like the one on the right.

I am actually getting better though. I am able to stand up from just about anywhere without needing the walker to get up. I have caught myself several times without the walker. What do I mean by that? I mean that a couple of times my right leg has started to give and my quad has caught it before I went down. It happened so fast as a reaction that I didn't even have time to catch myself with my upper body before my quad caught me. In other words, I didn't need to the walker to keep from falling. I am still using it to be safe, but I am anxious to move on.

There is a noticeable difference in my quad when I try to straighten my leg. I can press my knee down into the pillow it is on and you can see my quad flexing. The contraction feels a lot more normal. I still have strength issues but it seems like a lot more of it is working now than used to.

My sensation seems to be about the same and so does the neuropathic pain. It comes pretty consistently every evening, but I can live with that. Function has improved a lot though. In addition to my quad, I think my shin muscle is waking up. I can start pulling my foot up now, not just my toes. Not much, just a little. Also, I am not taking any medications anymore except something at night for the neuropathic pain and the occasional ibuprofen. Not that everything is working perfectly, but life is better without the medication at this point.

He's Got Legs

2008-09-25T22:54:00.000-07:00

Wendy went visiting teaching tonight so I was at home with the kids. In order to make sure I would be able to keep them from killing each other I decided to keep everyone close together. So I offered to let them come play "tickle, wrestle, pillow fight." For those of you who don't know, this is the game where I lay on the bed and they try to jump on me and hit me with pillows. I push them away and tickle them until they wet my bed. Then Wendy gets mad at me.

We had a lot of fun. While I was playing I rolled onto my left side (meaning that my right side was on top). My right leg was bent so I straightened it out to be more comfortable. Then I went back to defending myself from the attacking girls. Then I realized what I had just done. I had straightened my right leg. That requires some action from your quad. So I started bending me knee and straightening it, bending it, straightening it. I couldn't believe it. The only time I have been able to straighten my knee was when they put me on a polished surface with a towel under my leg and a skateboard under by foot and even then I was barely able to kick out. Today I was doing it like nobody's business. I guess I have been improving all this time and I just didn't know it. So, if you are wondering if I am getting better, the answer is yes. If you are wondering if I will be regulating the Turkey Bowl and the family Christmas soccer games the answer is ... well, actually I still don't know about that.

Back by Popular Demand

2008-09-24T21:40:00.000-07:00

I want you all to know how much it hurts me to write a title like that. There are so many titles that I wanted to put on this entry: "Mobility re-un-dis-enabled", "The Lifestyles of the Rich and Mobile", "Wheeling and Dealing", "Not-so-quadriplegic"... The list goes on. But since so many of you have been asking, begging, pleading, etc. for another blog entry, I have had to settle with the cliche and boring "Back by Popular Demand." When I left rehab, they cut my medication in half to avoid developing a drug dependency. I am just trying to cut back on my writing so that you don't get addicted to me!

I think that is my best excuse yet. My neighbor, Karen, pestered me about a blog entry at church. My excuse to her was that nothing blog-worthy had happened. "What would I write?" I asked. "Today I went to school. Today I went to school. Today, I went to school..." However, that excuse doesn't work anymore because I definitely have blog-worthy news to share.

My appearance on KUTV has been hard to beat. Last time I checked the video was no longer available from their site. I am going to start working on the cameraman to see if I can get some footage from him. If I do I will post the news stories on the blog for your viewing pleasure. Or maybe I can just get the last news story from one of my neighbors TiVo's.

I got home from school after a long day on Monday. And I mean long. It was 9:00pm when I got home. We submitted a paper to the American Conference on Control, which hopefully justifies the lateness of my stay. When I got home I found a surprise waiting for me: homemade apple fritters. Then Wendy told me my left foot accelerator had come. So after eating some apple fritters, I opened up the box. As exciting as it was to get the pedal and as excited as I was to be able to drive, the pedal itself was not too exciting. Just a $400 hunk of metal. Since it was so late that night, we decided to wait until the next day (Tuesday) to give it a try. But it was not to be.

Tuesday morning we were practically awakened by the Fedex man. I say practically because the girls had woken us some time before that, but we were still in bed when he came. He told Wendy that he had been stranded on a desert island and had found no use for our package. That was lucky for me because it was my wheelchair. Since I had therapy that morning, I decided, much to Wendy's dismay, to assemble the thing and pack it, along with my walker and the girls' bikes, into the trunk of the car to head to therapy. Suffice it to say that we were somewhat not on time and the trunk was just a little bit not empty. I didn't drive because we were so busy packing up mobility devices that we didn't have time to figure out the pedal.

Rehab was pretty typical, except that Shane told me he noticed some progress in my right quad. Nothing earth shattering, just a little more control in the contractions. That was good news for me since I can't tell any difference from day to day. It was comforting to know that each day I become less of a "QUAD-riplegic" (had to make sure you got the connection with the title). I have to admit that I walk a little easier lately. I can stand for longer periods of time (I was at my white board for well over an hour the other day working on a problem), I can walk further, faster, and I feel more stable. Now, I still can't kick a soccer ball (footnote: I can and do kick a soccer ball with my left leg while holding onto my walker. It has become an outlet of sorts and I go up to the IMPACT lab frequently to kick the ball around with whoever is there), but I have enough quad to somewhat stablilize my knee in an upright position. The biggest thing is that there is still progress, even though it is slow.

After therapy, Shane, my therapist, took my wheelchair apart and put it back together. Things just weren't adjusted quite like he wanted them. Of course, they were adjusted how he told me to request them when I placed the order so I think he just wanted to play. He might have been more excited than I was. I can only hope he breaks his back someday so that he can enjoy a legitimate wheelchair of his own (what a terrible thing to say... there... I said it so you won't have to).

Once my wheelchair was reassembled I gave it a spin. It was AWESOME. Really comfortable. Drives like a dream. Actually, since I have been on campus I have become pretty adept at nagivating a wheelchair. I've got some sweet moves to put it plainly. It was fun to cruise around and pop wheelies. Then I realized that I didn't have my anti-tippers on. I didn't fall over so no worries, I just decided to save the wheelies. My antics certainly didn't go unnoticed however. The therapists seemed nervous that I was so excited to get off my walker and into the wheelchair (which I admit does seem to be the wrong direction) and some of the senior therapy residents looked downright concerned for my well-being (ok, I might be exaggerating there). Although I mostly use the walker, the wheelchair has been very convenient for long distances and as a comfortable chair (long-distance sitting still hurts). People sometimes ask me why I use the wheelchair when they see me in it. I tell them that if you are going from sitting to sitting, it is easiest and most comfortable to bring your favorite chair with you. Anyway, both devices are helpful in different situations and I find that when I get tired from standing it is nice to sit down and when I get tired of sitting it is nice to be able to stand up.

Well, that pretty well sums up my adventures. Tomorrow we submit the final journal version of the paper we submitted to the ACC and I have to give a research presentation. Other than that, my life is pretty routine: class, homework, research, preparing for the GRE and PhD programs, etc. I have started doing Scouts again. I am actually enjoying that. I think the Scouts are happy to have me back, which I don't really understand since I don't move much and they were in great hands while I was out of comission. But I guess we all appreciate getting back to our routine. We are creatures of habit, and when we break that habit, we quickly find that we will end up "back by popular demand" (what am I doing in math, it is clear I should be a writer :).

15 Minutes of Fame

2008-09-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

Last night I appeared (for two minutes and 9 seconds) as the feature story on the local channel 2 10:00 news. I was even the main story on their webpage (last night at least). I spent about three hours yesterday with a camera crew while they were trying to gather information and footage but I assumed I would end up as a story late in the hour. Boy I was surprised. I didn't think I was that interesting.

If you want to see the story, it is still available online. I was happy that it was correct and not too embarrassing. Although they did put in a picture of me at rehab making a funny face while lifting weights.

In The News

2008-09-15T19:28:00.001-07:00

The KUTV cameraman that covered my crash called today about doing a follow-up story. He went to my doctor's appointment with the neurosurgery office and came to BYU to see what life was like there. Apparently I will be on the 10:00 news tonight on Utah channel 2. For my non-local readers I will post a link from the website when it becomes available.

Smooth Move

2008-09-15T19:20:00.001-07:00

A funny (read: scary) story I forgot to mention from Saturday. I woke up a little groggy Saturday morning to Wendy telling me that she was going running. She was leaving the girls at home with me. Usually she shuts the door so the girls can't get out and I just listen to make sure they aren't killing each other. Apparently she didn't get the door closed all the way when she left and the girls discovered this quite quickly. I was so out of it that I just fell asleep and since there was no screaming, crying, or arguing from the girls I slept quite well. They snuck out the back door to their friend Kaylee's house. When Wendy got home she found me asleep and no girls. She came in the room and said, "Jeremy, where are the girls?" Realizing that I had fallen asleep on the job, I sat up immediately to get out of bed and find them. That was when I realized I didn't have by shell on. Sitting up is one of the things I had been warned about. If I want to sit up I am supposed to roll carefully onto my side and then gently lower my legs to the floor while pushing my upper body up and keeping my back nice and straight, not doing a forward-facing sit-up which clearly bends your back right in the middle as you come up.

Well, I freaked out. I laid back down as if the sooner I did so the less likely I would be to have injured my back. I started calling neighbors while Wendy checked the yard. She eventually found them at Kaylee's. Fortunately I didn't hurt anything and the girls didn't get hurt or kidnapped, but from now on I will make sure I am up before Wendy leaves me in charge. And I will check the back door.

Ayden's Message

2008-09-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

When I was in the ICU the girls were not allowed to visit me so Wendy made a video message to bring to me. Well, I was just looking back at it today and I thought that maybe some of the rest of you would appreciate a child's view on the situation.

As for me, I couldn't sleep last night because of the neuropathic pain in my right leg, I tried to fast today for the first time, and I just ended up sick. Other than that, things are great! :)

On the road again

2008-09-11T13:07:00.000-07:00

I had my driving evaluation today and I passed with flying colors. It only lasted about 30 minutes and I drove myself home on the freeway! I need to get a left gas pedal for the car and that's it; I am back behind the wheel again. It felt a little awkward driving left-footed and it was a bit of a challenge getting into their car and getting my legs under the wheel, but I managed. I am not planning any big road trips but I am happy to be able to get myself around again.

Just to answer some questions (Angela), Cancun is out. They rejected the paper. The paper I am talking about is the same one (basically) but we submitted it to a journal instead. Apparently it is good enough for one of the top math journals but it isn't good enough for an engineering conference. We got one positive review and one negative review on the paper but the comments on the negative review showed that the person actually just didn't understand it and so he rejected it. Oh well. Our anniversary is the 18th of October and yes it rocks to have a bed in my office. I am basically the coolest...

Two Whole Months

2008-09-10T16:04:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday marked two months since the accident. In some ways I can't believe it has been that long. In others, it feels like it has been forever. I guess this post is just a summary of my current situation.

I am still wearing my turtle shell, although I have been given permission to take it off when I am sitting up, most noticeably when I am in the shower. I have discovered that my abs and back muscles are basically nonexistent. I can make it through a normal length shower now without my torso hurting too much. I had my back x-rayed today so that I will have films ready for my check-up with neurosurgery on Monday. They preferred the x-ray in a standing position and with the shell off so I stood without my shell for the first time today. I was aching by the time they were done taking two pictures. I guess when the shell finally comes off (in about a month) I will have to do a lot of sit-ups to get my six pack back (ha!).

I am getting around really well. In fact, it is hard to find something I can't successfully navigate. I can handle steps and sloped ground. I have been on grass and gravel. I even made it up some steps that didn't have a rail (but only a few steps and I had some spotters helping). I can go pretty far before I get tired. The best indicator of my progress is that I get restless sitting in my chair all day. I am up doing stuff most of the day and I didn't even lay down in my cot at school today.

I finally checked myself yesterday to see how my sensation is. My legs are pretty much the same: I have full sensation on the left leg but no sensation on the front and most of the sides of my right leg. I have discovered that I have dead spots all over my torso. It isn't just near my incision, I have them on my back and sides and lower stomach. It is hard to describe because I have patches and stripes and all sorts of weird shapes of places where I have little to no sensation.

I think my right quad is finally starting to come back. From visual appearances it looks like more of the muscle is starting to activate and I was able to lift it off the exercise table about an inch when I was at therapy yesterday. No real progress from my shin muscles though.

Lots of people at school have been commenting about my weight. It is probably the most noticeable change in all of this. Earlier this year (when I finally decided it was time to lose weight) I weighed in at a hefty 261. I started trying to diet and got into the mid 240's by the beginning of summer. By the time of the accident I was 235. I weighed in this morning and I was 209 including the weight of my turtle shell, which is probably about five pounds. Even though I am eating just fine, I haven't had the insatiable appetite and killer sweet tooth that I had before the accident so I am still losing weight without really trying. In fact, I had quite a few cookies the other day :)

I am happy to be back to school. Classes are going fine and I am hoping to get the changes made to my research paper and get it resubmitted for publication. Tomorrow is my driving evaluation and after that I should be able to start driving myself to school. I am excited to drive again, but mostly because it is one more thing that I can start doing for myself.

Stake Conference

2008-09-07T16:34:00.001-07:00

We had stake conference this weekend and I was asked to sing in a quartet for the adult session last night (Saturday). We don't have a ramp going up on the stand in our stake center so I had to go up the stairs and have Mark Bocanegra carry my walker up. I made it up the stairs and over to the podium just fine. I was a little nervous that I would fall and cause a scene. I felt a little like a circus act even though everything went ok. I don't really remember how the song went although I am told we did well. I think I was just focused on not falling down and getting back off the stand successfully. Plus, I needed to go to the bathroom! I told the other brothers that the reason they asked me to sing in the quartet is because I put the "special" in special musical number.

After the general session today, which was a broadcast, I managed to get my shoes and socks off all by myself. I feel a little silly being so proud of such and event, but I haven't been able to do it since the accident. I still can't move my upper body much with the shell on so it means that I have gotten quite a bit of flexibility back over the last few weeks. I still don't think I could get the shoes on, getting them off was tricky enough, but at least it's one more thing Wendy doesn't have to do for me.

First day of school, first day of school! (Jenne?)

2008-09-03T16:29:00.000-07:00

I made it through my first day of school. I have quite a setup in my office now. Wendy has helped me bring in and setup my cot (complete with air matress, sheets, and two pillows) and I have a toaster oven, compliments of Grandma Wilson. I have the whole office to myself so there is plenty of space and I can take a nap between classes if I need to. We had to put risers on my desk so that the wheelchair would fit underneath it (I am using the wheelchair as a desk chair since it is easier to get around). I am only taking two classes, one at 10 am and one at 3pm. They are both in the Talmage building and close to the elevator, so it is pretty easy to get around. I am even able to sit in the regular chairs in the classrooms, although I have found that it is hard to make it through the 50 minutes. Either my attention span has dropped or I just get uncomfortable.

A Real Shower

2008-08-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a follow-up visit with Dr. Reichman's office. I saw a nurse practitioner in his office that gave me the usually run down. He told me I had better not fall anymore and that I got lucky that it wasn't any worse. He also told me that I can take my shell off to shower now. I wear it into the shower, sit down on the shower bench, and then I can take it off and set it outside the shower. I put it back on again before I get out. Today marks six weeks since the accident and it is the first time I have been able to was my own torso in the shower like a normal person does.

You would think that the experience would have been wonderful. I admit that it was good news and good progress, but it wasn't as wonderful as I had hoped. My abs and back muscles have pretty much disappeared over the last six weeks. When I took my shell off I sunk like a pile of Jell-O pudding. About 2 minutes into the shower, my back, particularly near the incision, was so sore I couldn't wait to rinse off and get out. I was begging Wendy to help me hurry and get my shell back on. Hopefully it will improve with time and having those few minutes shell free will help my muscles come back a little.

I must have looked pretty comical in the shower because the doctor made a big point of telling me not to move in ways that my shell wouldn't allow. I didn't lean against the back rest because I was trying to keep my back straight. I moved about a centimeter per hour to reach over and turn on the water. I tried not to twist when getting the shampoo. I knew I was being a little over cautious but I was actually a little scared without my shell on and I was afraid to move wrong.

P.S. My knee and ankle are fine so I am guessing there was no permanent damage. I do have a kind of saggy spot right above me knee cap that I don't remember before. Maybe it is some swelling. Or, maybe it is just the skin hanging loose because there is no muscle inside, who knows?

Gravity Hurts

2008-08-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

In therapy today we decided it was time to see how far I could walk on my own power. Ronda gave me a cane to use to see if it was helpful but I ended up just carrying it because it didn't do much for me. I walked 400 feet without a stop. After a rest I went up and down a flight of stairs twice. I was heading back to a training table for a break and I was about 10 feet away when my legs gave out. It happened really fast. One minute I was walking along just fine and the next I was on my hands and knees. My knees hit pretty hard. I looked over at Shane who had been doing an eval with another patient at the time and said, "I guess I found my limit." He replied, "I think your limit was a few feet ago." I told everybody not to worry, it only hurt one of my knees since I couldn't feel the other one anyway.

My knee and ankle on my right leg were pretty sore the rest of the day. I've had a hard time straightening my knee and putting weight on it. I had a follow-up visit with Dr. Fyans, one of the rehab doctors. He checked my knee and ankle and said it didn't look like I did anything permanent.

P.S. The cushion never turned up. Someone else found it and decided they liked it I guess. I got another loaner from Rehab and I will be ordering my own soon. Whoever found it, I hope they like it and I hope they needed it more than I did!

The WalMart Kart

2008-08-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

Before I tell about the WalMart Kart (which is what I have decided to name it) I should mention that those nifty green swim trunks I am wearing in the swimming picture are a gift Wendy gave me just before we got married. I commissioned them that night in the sense that since we got married - almost five years now - I have not been skinny enough to fit into them -- until now.

So, we've all seen the fun little electric carts at WalMart (and other similar stores) that you can ride around in while you do your shopping. And whether you can admit it or not, we've all wanted to ride them. For many of us, public humiliation is the only thing preventing us from riding it on every shopping trip. Honestly, it's like a free go-cart ride.

Well, my chance came this weekend and I couldn't resist. Wendy and I went on a date on Saturday and after a nice dinner at the California Pizza Kitchen (which I highly recommend) she mentioned that she really needed to go to WalMart. I know how difficult it is to shop with the girls and so I wanted to let her go but I really didn't want to sit in the car and I didn't think I could do that much walking. We only had the walker with us so the wheel chair wasn't an option. Then Wendy reminded me of the carts.

Was I embarrassed? Of course. But no more so than I would have been shuffling around on my walker with my superman shell on. And I had a blast. In fact, I think I will take up shopping until my legs are able to participate in a more masculine sport ;). For the curious reader I should mention that the top speed on those things is about 2 miles per decade. I had to keep a perfect line down the aisle to keep up with Wendy's aimless shopping meander. On the plus side, those things have a killer turn radius. I have never seen donuts like that!

Unfortunately, I had so much fun riding on the cart that I left my premium, air-inflated whoopee cushion on the cart. Hopefully somebody put it in the lost-and-found!

Just Me And My Walker

2008-08-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

We went in this afternoon to try the Walk Aid. Unfortunately, due to how low down my injury is, the Walk Aid is not going to work. Apparently it stimulates the muscle by causing a reflex in the nervous system. In order to make the reflex work there needs to be a "nerve circuit" going from the leg up into the spinal cord and back down into the leg. That is how the electricity stimulates the entire muscle. If you just shock the muscle only the fibers next to the electrodes are stimulated. For patients with an injury higher on the spinal cord there is usually a loop that can be made, but because my injury is so low, the Walk Aid will probably not work until I can move the muscle on my own.

We also found out today that we are not going to get Medicaid to cover a wheel chair. This news was not as bad as the Walk Aid. When I am going long distances a wheel chair is still convenient to have. However, with the progress I am making it isn't looking like I will need one for much longer. In fact, Dario, my inpatient therapist, said that if I order a wheel chair I probably won't need it by the time they manufacture it. I was in the same situation when they were going to make my leg brace. We are hoping we can continue to use the demo chair for long enough that it won't be an issue.

Between ordering a wheel chair, the Walk Aid, and the KAFO (leg brace) we were going to order earlier we have tried and struck out on just about every mobility assistance device we have tried except my trusty walker. So I guess the two of us will just keep shuffling along until I can walk on my own. My therapist did mention moving to a cane sometime soon which I can buy at WalMart, so maybe that will actually work out. I am not anxious to buy things, I am just anxious to get anything that is going to help me get around easier or that will be therapeutic. When I get my cane I think I will look for a black one with flames on the bottom :).

The good news is that while Wendy was watching them shock my leg silly and laughing as my foot twitched every direction but the one they wanted it to she heard them mention that my quad isn't working either and she asked about that. I think my therapist Shane and my orthotist Russ summed up my stellar performance best when they said "Every time [Jeremy] walks he is doing a phenomenal balancing act" and "he is basically cheating gravity." To which I responded, "Yeah, and that is why gravity sometimes wins." The bad news is that they told Wendy that if she just bumped the back of my knee I would go right down. I guess I had better not say anything mean to Wendy while I am walking now that she knows where my Achiles heel is. Or I guess in my case, maybe I should say that she knows my Kryptonite.

So Much To Do, So Little Time To Do It

2008-08-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

It has been a little while since I have written an entry for the blog, but not because nothing has happened. I have been pretty busy this week. Tuesday we went to Uncle Brad and Aunt Cathy's house for a get together. Wednesday I visited Brad to help with a web project. Both days Brad and Cathy were kind enough to let me use their pool (thanks). They have a nice stairway going into the shallow end so I was able to get in and out easily. I have never been so comfortable since the accident. The water really took the strain off my back.

Thursday I was on campus most of the day trying to get back into the school routine. I walked from my office in the Talmage building to the Wilkenson Center and back for lunch. I am not sure exactly how far it is but I had to take two breaks on the way back. It used to take me about 5 minutes to get there so that should give some indication of how far it is. It was exciting to be able to make it that far but I don't think I will be walking to lunch much in the near future.

This morning I went to therapy. I was able to push myself up at level 5 on the total gym (which is the first inclined level) using only my right leg. I haven't been able to do that before today. I only did it twice before I fatigued my leg. This afternoon I am going to get fitted for a walk aid which is an electronic device that is supposed to make my gait a little more natural and efficient. It is a band that I will wear on my calf that electrically stimulates the muscles that pull my foot up. It has sensors that make it activate each time I take a step. When I am not walking I can put it in an exercise mode that stimulates the muscle every few seconds. The hope is that it will build the muscle and help the nerves reconnect. Since ankle control on my right foot is one of the two things (my right quad being the other) that are holding up my progress right now I am pretty excited about it.

A Bonk on the Noggin

2008-08-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

Ayden fell off her chair trying to get down after lunch today and hit her head on the floor. She got quite a goose egg and was pretty distraught for the next hour or so. While I was trying to console her I told her that she would feel better soon if she kept the ice on. I was surprised by what she said (in part because she is three years old and in part because of what she said). She told me "I just don't know how long it is going to hurt." It reminded me of my hospital stay. At the worst times when I was nauseated and throwing up things seemed terrible. Since it seemed to come and go every few days I used to wonder how long it would take to recover. As you can see from my last post things aren't completely better. I used to lie in bed clutching my barf bucket and wonder when or if I would ever get better. For a three-year old, a first goose egg probably feels pretty similar to me breaking my back.

When it comes down to it I suppose we are all a little afraid of the unknown. This experience has been somewhat of a walk through the unknown for me. As long as we feel like we are in control of our lives it is easy to be happy. But we get squeemish when things are beyond our control. I guess that is what faith is all about: pushing forward and doing the best we can while we trust that things will work out. We just have to be patient during the tough times while we wait for the better times to come our way, even if it seems like they may never come.

Sorry for the soap-boxing...

Dinner with Ralph

2008-08-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

Last Night we went to Grandma Wilson's house and had a dinner party with a lot of my family that is in town for Aunt Marilyn's Funeral. I had fun showing off my walking and stair climbing skills and visiting with everybody. We had Mexican food for dinner which is a personal favorite of mine but I ate way too much. After dinner I started feeling sick and had to go lay down. I ended the night throwing up. That is the first time I have thrown up since I have been home from the hospital. The good news is that I am feeling better now. The bad news is that I didn't get to eat much of my homemade ice cream. I hope you are still saving it for me Grandma! I am coming to get it!

My Big Fat Gimpy Weekend

2008-08-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

For those of you that check the blog several times a day (mom) I apologize for not having written anything over the weekend. The good news is that I am still alive to write an entry this morning. It has been a busy weekend.

Friday evening we went to the Durrans's house for dinner. Saturday we were in Salt Lake all day for my Aunt Marilyn's funeral. Hearing about all the pain she went through during her life, and the amazing attitude she had through it all, was good motivation for me. In some ways I felt like my aching back at her funeral was my own personal tribute. We will miss her!

Sunday I made it through a full day of church and then we went back to the Durrans's for dinner in the evening. Tonight we are going to Grandma Wilson's house to have dinner with a lot of my family. It has been fun getting out and doing stuff with family but I woke up pretty exhausted this morning. I told Wendy that we need to get rid of all this family so I can get back to being lazy all day long (I was just joking...). I am just glad that I am able to get up and do everything that I have been doing. I am starting to feel somewhat human again. As I keep telling Grandpa Durrans, "I am not invalid."

I hope you all enjoyed the video of me walking. Just to provide a little more media entertainment, here is a flash from the past. Some of you may have seen this on TV, if not, here is the news story that ran after my accident. It turns out that I landed on the street where a KUTV cameraman lives. What's even more exciting is that his wife is a therapist at UVRMC. She said her husband is going to make me a DVD of the original footage that he shot. When I get it I will see if I can post any of it.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

2008-08-15T15:38:00.000-07:00

So how many words is a video worth? No matter the number, this should be one of my longest posts ever. I hope you all enjoy this video as much as I enjoyed being able to make it.

I should mention that I tired myself out enough at therapy today that when I tried to climb the stairs this evening on the way to the Durrans' house my leg gave out. I went down easy. In fact, it looked like I was intentionally kneeling down, only it wasn't intentional. I was also able to get back up and finish climbing the stairs easily. It was a reminder that in spite of all my progress and all the things I can do I am still a little weak and working on getting back to 100%.

Duh-nuh, duh-nuh, duh-nuh-nah

2008-08-14T18:55:00.000-07:00

In case you can't tell, the title is the music that plays when Dorothy's "wicked witch" neighbor rides by on her bicycle in the Wizard of Oz. We got some pedals that sit on the floor and I used them for the first time today. It has been hard to get them away from the girls. Ayden in particular gets quite a kick out of them.

I discovered that I can stand up from the edge of my bed without using the walker. That has been difficult in the past. I already knew that once I was standing I could keep my balance without needing the walker, but standing up without using it is a different story. Once you start standing your hands leave the bed and you have to push the rest of the way up with your legs. My legs haven't been strong enough in the past to do that so it was exciting to find that they could. I discovered it by accident. I tried to throw my empty yogurt cup into the garbage and missed so I was going to stand up to see if I could bend over and get it. Without even thinking I stood up the way a normal person would, without the walker, and it worked. Once I realized what I had done I was shocked. I did get the yogurt cup by the way too.

This morning I got myself ready while Wendy went running. It was a dress rehearsal of sorts. I wanted to see how long it would take me to get ready and when I would need to wake up to make it to my 10:00 class when school starts in two weeks. I was ready by about 9:45 but I didn't wake up until 8:00 so I think I should be in good shape.

Since I can keep my balance and climb stairs I decided it was time to climb onto the scale. I weighed in at a hefty 214 this morning, with my shell on. That means I am probably around 210 as the blue jay stands. Although it embarrasses me to say it, when I started dieting way back when I weighed in at just over 260 so I have lost around 45-50 pounds. The hospital has certainly accelerated my diet plan. My appetite has come back strong in the last week or so but I seem to be maintaining still. I guess something good has come out of all of this!

If there are any typos or silly statements in this post it is because I didn't get to proof-read it. Wendy was too anxious to watch the Olympics!

Farewell to the Ramp of Doom

2008-08-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

In therapy today I did some gym exercises to strengthen my right leg and then did some more stairs and walked about 70 feet. It was encouraging to cover almost twice the distance, especially since I didn't fall down this time and I did the walking at the end of therapy when I was already tired. Shane, my therapist, told me that my technique on the stairs is good enough that I can safely go in and out of the house through the front door from now on. That means no more crazy rides on the steep ramp in the back. Just to explain, there isn't enough room in the patio area outside the back door for a good ramp. We put one in out of necessity but it is way too steep. I can't get up or down it by myself. When coming down, Wendy lowers me backwards and I brake the chair with my hands so that I don't come down too fast. When going up Wendy is just able to keep me from sliding back down and then I have to push with my hands to make any progress. With my superhero suit on I can't lean forward at all so I feel like I am going to tip over the whole way up. Because I feel like I am going to die every time we go up or down the ramp, I have taken to calling it the Ramp of Doom. I won't miss my trips on it in the slightest!

We played the sensitivity game again and I think there are some slight improvements in some spots. I am amazed that I can feel all the way up my thigh since for the longest time I had no sensation there. However, the front and sides of my shin and knee on the right leg still have practically no sensation. If you tap hard I can feel the vibration in the bones. If you just touch lightly on the skin I can't even tell someone is touching me. I hope I don't have any spiders on my leg when I am napping. They'll make it right onto my shorts and up into my mouth before I know it!

Stairway to Heaven

2008-08-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

Today was a nice relaxing day at home. Since I wasn't exhausted from therapy I was pretty active during the day. We played what we called the sensitivity game. I closed my eyes and Wendy, Ayden, and Claire took turns touching places on my right leg and I would see if I could feel it and how well. Hopefully over time I will be able to see more and more improvement.

For dinner we went to Costco. We needed to do some shopping as well. I took the wheelchair to get around and I was able to keep up and navigate just fine without getting tired. I made it into the bathroom all by myself. When we got home I asked my neighbor, Kyle Brothersen, if he could help spot me while I went in the house through the front door. I practiced stairs in rehab yesterday so I wanted to try the house. To get in the front there are about four steps going up to the front door and then a flight of steps (about 12 or so) going down into the house. I was a little unstable on some of them but I made it up and then down.

The Bigger They Are, The Harder They Fall

2008-08-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

Don't panic Mom, it's not as bad as it sounds...

Before justifying today's title, let me make up for lost ground. Wendy pointed out that I have not mentioned two significant items. If she wants something done right, she is learning she'll have to do it herself :).

First, many of you know that due to an exception on page 24 under the miscellaneous section of the student health program handbook, DMBA (my health insurance provider) has decided not to pay a penny of my medical expenses. As a mathematician I am pretty sure there isn't a number large enough to describe how much we owe in medical bills. However, on Saturday we got notice that our Medicaid application has been approved. We still have to pay part of the bill, but not too much. We are breathing a sigh of relief. Thanks to all you faithful tax payers!

Next, our generous neighbors have given me a recliner that has revolutionized my invalid life. It is an electric recliner that lays all the way back and also sits you all the way up into almost a standing position. It is very easy to get in and out of and is very comfortable. I have missed having a bed that can sit up or lay down so the recliner has been very nice. Thanks Todd!

Now, on to today's news. As I mentioned on Saturday's entry, I walked a few steps. Today I had therapy again and I was anxious to show off my new skills. I asked them to provide a couple of people for spotters and then positioned myself a few feet away from the practice steps. I figured I would walk my 5 feet and be done. However, the therapists were all so impressed they wanted more. So we turned around and headed out toward the hall. I made it about 35 feet to a chair and sat down. After a break they were asking for more, however this time I had only one spotter, Alan, and I was pretty tired. I made it another 5 feet and my legs gave out. Alan let me down pretty softly onto my left knee but he wasn't able to support my weight. So I found myself just outside the gym on my hands and knees trying to figure out how to stand up. It took a couple of people to get me back up, but we managed. The exciting part was walking a total of 45 feet without ANY assistance devices! It's not pretty or graceful and I move pretty slowly, but I can do it.

The last time I worked with Alan was the Saturday I went home for my overnight pass and I wore myself out so much working on the walker that I threw up in a bucket from the practice kitchen. After today's experience I think Alan is afraid to work with me!

After my walking adventure I worked out on the total gym, practiced climbing stairs (which I did quite well) and then worked on fall recovery. Fall recovery was really hard, even with furniture. My legs aren't strong enough to pick me up when my knees are really bent. I think Alan could tell I was working hard because at one point he said: "Remember, the floor isn't so bad either. You can always put some pillows and blankets down there and take a break until you have enough energy or someone can help you up." I did manage to get myself back up for the record.

A Three Hour Tour

2008-08-10T20:31:00.000-07:00

The big news of the day is that I made it through all three hours of church. What's more, I didn't take my wheelchair. I decided I would just use the walker and that went well. I did bring my really nice air cushion from the wheelchair to sit on. I made sure I had plenty of painkiller on board so that my back wouldn't bother me too much and I brought extra doses with me to take when my pain killer ran out.

What I think may be even more exciting happened before church. Wendy helped me get into the shower but I was able to get myself out, brush my teeth, comb my hair, get dried off, get my shell off, get completely dressed (except shoes and socks, that is still pretty tough with my shell on) and get my shell back on. I even got my tie out of the closet and hung up my towels for good measure. It is pretty satisfying to get some measure of independence back and hopefully it will give Wendy more time to spend on herself and the girls. I always feel a little guilty that she has to spend so much time taking care of me.

Walk This Way (which movie, Jenne?)

2008-08-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

Some of you are under the impression that I have already gotten behind on the blog. I am not sure what gave you that idea. Here is Saturday's post and you can clearly see that Sunday's post is up as well (oops, I guess that gives away the fact that I am writing this on Sunday).

Ayden apparently is quite fascinated with my ability to stand up without any support because first thing this morning she asked me to do it again. As soon as I stood up she said, "Oh! Now you can walk." Well, I didn't want to disappoint my little girl so I pushed the walker out in front of me a little and took four full steps to it. They weren't pretty but I was able to keep my balance. Wendy wasn't there at the time and she thinks I am getting a little reckless but I was excited about the progress. I am hoping to get a video of my mad skills but we will have to do it sometime when people can spot me because Wendy refuses to take a video while I am walking unassisted.

My right leg is getting a lot better. The toes are moving better and I am getting some sensation back. I am also able to lock my knee a lot better which means that my quad is getting stronger.

Under New Management

2008-08-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

Now that I am home, Wendy has decided that to earn my keep I am responsible for posting my progress on the blog. I can't guarantee that I will be as eloquent and articulate as she is, but at least you are getting the real story now.

Today I had the distinct privilege of going nowhere. I get pretty tired when I go out so I didn't mind just staying home. I did get my exercise around the house. In addition to my trips to the bathroom and the kitchen table, Wendy suggested that we eat dinner outside on the patio. The trip from my bedroom to the patio is a little ridiculous. After getting my super suit on, putting on my sandals and my ankle brace, and getting up into the walker, I walked all the way down the hall to the living room where I transferred to the wheel chair. Once in the wheel chair I wheeled outside and then had Wendy push me up the ramp of doom. After climbing the ramp it was back to the walker to cross the grass over to the patio. Then I needed a comfortable seat to eat dinner in, so I got back in the wheelchair. That seems like way too many transfers just to eat dinner on the patio, but it was nice to be outside.

My reluctant bowel came back to haunt today and Wendy got some first-hand experience with some of the less pleasant aspects of nursing. However, due to her superb care I am clean and clear again and feeling fine. I think we are both hoping that things wake up and normalize down there soon.

On a brighter note, I discovered that my right leg will now support enough of my weight for me to stand without having to hold on to anything. Now that I am wearing my shell more often I put this ability to use right away. I got up and got my own laptop off the dresser and turned on the air conditioning myself. I am getting much more independent in general, although I think it makes Wendy nervous. While she was at the store I got on to our home computer to fix some things and got back into bed before she got home (don't tell her!). I also finally managed to put on a pair of shorts by myself. I don't think Wendy minded that at all.

New & Improved Walker

2008-08-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

Jeremy had his first out-patient physical therapy today at 9:00. Way too early to get him and the girls ready. Needless to say, we got their five minutes late and Jeremy didn't get to shower until the afternoon.

Jeremy's new walker arrived after naps. It is so much easier for him to navigate and it has a seat so he can sit in front of the sink to brush teeth, etc. We took it with us to the park for a BBQ with his lab from school tonight. He got a lot of walking in getting from the car to the party, bathroom, and back. It worked great on the grass. He was wiped out by the time we got home, so we're hoping he sleeps well tonight.

He continues to eat better. He's struggling with constipation despite the daily stool softeners and suppositories...unbelievable what that percoset can do to you. All in all a good day.

Things Are Going Well

2008-08-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

I was a little nervous about getting sleep now that Jeremy is home, but last night went really well. I only needed to help him rearrange pillows three times and he didn't cath until 6:30 a.m. Ayden decided to sleep in until 7:30 too, so that helped. The bowel and bladder programs are running smoothly. It looks like he won't have to cath much longer.

Today's goal is to have him walk 1000 ft with the walker. We measured his usual routes from the bedroom to bathroom to kitchen and back so we can keep track. It's 6:00 and he has walked about 300 ft so far. We might be a little shy of the target today, but his new walker arrives Thursday. The one he ordered has four wheels and a seat and will be easier to walk with than the current loaner.

They reduced his Percoset(pain meds) from two every four hours to only one every four hours. It's good for him to start laying off the drugs, but his body isn't too happy about it. His appetite is coming back and he isn't battling nausea anymore.

All in all, everything is going great and the girls are being pretty good.

Rome is Home & We Sold the Truck

2008-08-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

I should have said, Brian and Connie sold the truck. THANK YOU! I just have to mail the check to the leasing company tomorrow and we are truck free. Thanks to Brian and Connie we were able to sell it for just over the pay-off amount, so we didn't have to pay anything to get out of the lease agreement:)

Now for the exciting news; Jeremy came home tonight. We were planning on leaving at noon, but the orthodics company picked up his super-suit brace to make some adjustments. They trimmed off some of the sides that had been digging into his hips. He says it is way more comfortable now. In fact, he's been wearing it since we left the hospital four hours ago. He might even try sleeping in it so that he can roll on his side for pressure relief.

We convinced the doctors that he shouldn't have to take Lovenox, the anti-blood clot shots, anymore. The one-month supply was going to cost us four thousand dollars and Jeremy doesn't particulary enjoy giving himself a shot in the abdomen every morning. They said he should be fine if he is walking about 1000 ft a day. Since he has to use the walker to get in the bathroom and bedroom anyway, we think he will be active enough to not get blood clots.

The girls played with Kaylee (thanks Kyle and Karen) after we got home so that we had time to settle in and unpack. Kyle and Karen unloaded the car for us, which was no easy task. I pretty much filled up the trunk and entire back seat with stuff that had accumulated at the rehab motel. Before bedtime the girls wrestled with each other on the bed next to Jeremy, who did his best to pitch in from time to time. We are very happy to be home together again. Jeremy's first physical therapy appointment isn't until Thursday, so we will enjoy staying at home tomorrow.

Thank you for your service and prayers.
ps Mom, we picked up a month's supply of the testosterone patches today. James, his roommate, said Jeremy will probably want to watch WWWF and football all the time now:)

Trip to the Movies

2008-08-04T21:18:00.000-07:00

I didn't go down to see Jeremy this morning because he and his roomate were heading to the movies for occupational therapy...maybe I could sign up for that too. I asked him if they got to ride in the special bus; but, alas, it was just a Ford Taurus. He said everything went well. His back was killing him by the end of the movie. It is hard for him to be sitting up so long.

For physical therapy Jeremy walked 250 ft with the walker. His therapist was surprised that he could walk with the walker at all. He should have known by the Superman sticker that Jeremy means business. They decided not to take molds of his right leg for the brace after all. They're thinking that by the time the brace is made, he might not need it anymore. It's pretty expensive so we didn't insist.

He is still eating and keeping food down, although, all he ate for lunch was popcorn at the movies. They are concerned that he has another UTI and are running tests. The most exciting news is that he is coming home tomorrow around noon! His first appointment for out-patient therapy is Thursday and we'll be ordering his wheelchair then.

ps Aunt Mare: I tried that blog address and it didn't work, could you re-send the address?

Overnighter Report

2008-08-03T20:52:00.001-07:00

We picked up Jeremy from the hospital last night about 6:00. He was really nervous on the drive home and for the first little bit, but soon felt comfortable and glad to be home. We discovered that it is best to go backwards down the ramp after an exhilarating ride down the first time. Jeremy and I were both sweating bullets for a few minutes after that. Getting back up the ramp is quite a workout for both of us. We'll have to hire Bro. Anderson to help us in and out. I'm sure all those chin-ups will come in handy:)

The wheelchair didn't fit in the bathroom and bedroom doors, so Jeremy had to transfer to the walker to get into those rooms. I tried to stay behind him in case he tipped backwards but he did just fine. He definitely got a workout this weekend. Life for him basically consisted of doing one life task( going to the bathroom, eating, or showering, etc.) and then getting back into bed to take off his less than comfortable super suit(turtle shell) and rest. Gratefully, Uncle David was here to help with the girls on Saturday evening. I thought we would be fine on our own, but it was good to have him there for the first few hours home.

Jeremy ate well and never threw up. He also said he slept well...I'm not sure how he could call last night sleeping well, though. Between repositioning the pillows every two hours, one potty break, and one dose of pain killer, I'm not sure when he slept. It must be pretty bad at the hospital. We started getting him ready for church at 8:00 this morning and even though church doesn't start until 11:00, we were still 15 minutes late. I'm sure as he gets more sleep and once his super suit is re-fitted he won't have to take as many breaks in between tasks. He managed to stay through part of Sunday School. He said he could have stayed through all of church if he had taken a pain-killer right before. On the drive home he said that all-around he felt better than he ever has since the accident.

ps (for Sara:) He has normal feeling in the left leg. Sensation in his right leg is coming back but it isn't as advanced as the left.

Home Sweet Home, hopefully:)

2008-08-02T14:49:00.000-07:00

Ayden was feeling better this morning so David watched the girls while I went to the hospital. Jeremy is still eating, not enjoying it, but at least eating and keeping it down. He's lost at least 20 lbs. since the accident. The blood test results showed he is running extremely low on testosterone, which could be affecting his appetite. They are giving him a testosterone patch until it normalizes. He was walking on the parallel bars with out any aid except his right leg brace. This afternoon he was supposed to practice using a walker since his wheelchair won't fit through the bathroom door. We're hoping he can park the wheelchair outside the bathroom and then use the walker to make it to the toilet and shower.

He is supposed to be coming home tonight for dinner. I'm picking him up around 5:00

This paragraph is for Sara:) We were planning on filling in details about the surgery after the blog entry on the accident...but it hasn't happened yet. Jeremy shattered his L1 vertabra. He didn't sever the spinal cord but it was crushed and embedded with bone fragments. The general surgeons permanently removed the two lowest ribs to enable the neurosurgeon access to the injury. The neurosurgeon said because the cord wasn't severed, he expected Jeremy to walk. As for how well he walks and how well his bladder/bowels work, it is a matter of time. The swelling is supposed to go down 4-6 weeks from the surgery. Let me know if you have any other questions because I'm sure I left things out. ps Congrats on the wedding! Sorry we had to miss it!

Two Many Sickies

2008-08-01T15:12:00.001-07:00

Ayden came down with strep last night. I got her some antibiotics this morning and am staying with the girls for the day. I think I'm having withdrawals. I haven't had hospital food for over 24 hours. With David and Bro. Mecham's help we managed to get a ramp up on the back steps. We just used a piece of ramp from Todd Corbett's ramp that Jeremy helped take down a few months ago:) Thanks Todd, David, and Anthon! Bro. Mecham also installed a grip bar in the bathroom. Jeremy's shower chair should be arriving this afternoon, and then we will be ready for his grand arrival on Saturday evening, as long as the wheelchair fits through the bathroom door of course.

Jeremy told me that the orthodics rep. came again this morning to observe his "walking" so that they can fit him for a brace on his right leg. He came yesterday but Jeremy was too weak to get out of bed. We were amazed because he, the orthodics guy, walked in the room with only a cane. Then he proceeded to tell us that the only muscles he can control below his waist are his quads; no glutes, hams, or calves, etc. He wears braces on his lower legs and just with his quads he can walk and stand. They will come back on Monday to make molds of Jeremy's right leg with which they can make him a custom brace. This afternoon someone is supposed to bring Jeremy a new demo wheelchair and take his measurements to order his own.

As for his nausea, Jeremy has been feeling better today. He ate some breakfast and lunch and made it to his therapy in the morning and afternoon. He still has some bowel challenges(not sure what else to call them:) that are making him pretty uncomfortable but things are improving. He is still planning on coming home for an overnighter tomorrow as long as Claire and I don't get strep before then. Ayden isn't supposed to be contagious tomorrow, but I'm a little nervous about Jeremy being exposed to all the germs here.

Nauseating day

2008-07-31T20:07:00.000-07:00

Jeremy was still sick today and now Ayden is as well so this will be short. Jeremy was throwing up this morning and couldn't bring himself to eat much of anything most of the day. He was also having bowel troubles. I think his nurse today earned herself a medal of bravery:) He started feeling a little better in the evening so hopefully tomorrow he will be up to eating and therapy again. Thanks for your help and prayers.

Memories of ICU Back to Haunt

2008-07-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

We're starting to wonder if Jeremy is allergic to the hospital. After returning from BYU he felt nauseated again and threw up a few times. They think he might have been dehydrated. He is frustrated to have missed his afternoon physical therapy. When they brought his dinner tray he dry heaved just from smelling the food. We are praying this problem goes away soon so that he can take full advantage of the physical therapy while he's still in the hospital.

Trip to BYU

2008-07-30T14:31:00.000-07:00

Jeremy started off his morning with some raisin bran and meds...oops. His gag reflex is a bit strong right now so breakfast didn't stay down long. In physical therapy he started off on a machine that has two foot rests that you alternately push down. Last week we had to help him push each pedal down, but today he was pumping them up and down easily. He had to lie down after that and have some powerade and crackers. After he felt better he managed to walk forwards and backwards on the parallel bars.

At 11:00 we drove him to BYU to practice getting around campus in the wheelchair. Jeremy's advisor and his math-loving buddies ordered pizza(thanks, you are the best:) and we got to visit for a while. Everything went smoothly and I'm guessing Jeremy was ready for a nap by the time he got back to rehab.

Occupational Therapy Visit

2008-07-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

I didn't get to be with Jeremy for therapy today, so I'm not sure what all went on. He said they put him in some new walking contraption, but I'll have to fill in the details after I see it tomorrow. They did shock therapy on his right leg again which isn't very comfortable to say the least. Jeremy's roommate wasn't making fun of him for screaming like a girl this time :) so either Jeremy is toughening up or Dario(physical therapist) is getting better at electrocuting his patients. Jeremy was up out of bed for bathroom trips, etc. quite a bit today so his stamina seems to be returning.

The occupational therapists came to visit our house this afternoon. They said we have enough room in the back for a ramp. It will be a bit steep, so someone(me) will probably have to help Jeremy up and down. We need to raise the kitchen table some so his legs will fit underneath. In the bathroom we're putting in a special shower chair and a new raised toilet seat with handles. We also need to install a grip bar on the wall opposite the toilet. The only real problem with the house is the doorway into the bathroom. For some reason it is just a little smaller than the rest and we're not sure if the wheelchair will fit through it, even with the door off...I guess we'll find out on Saturday when Jeremy comes home for his sleep-over.

Good news all around

2008-07-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

Good things happening today:

-Jeremy used the toilet again this morning! Very good news.
-In physical therapy both his legs showed amazing improvement while he was doing the bicycle movement on the slippery board. He says his left leg feels completely normal except for a few spots on his foot.
-Also in physical therapy he was able to push his body on the total gym/leg sled. His right leg improved in knee control.
-For occupational therapy he broke his record wheeling himself up the ramp:) 23sec
-Even better... by the time morning therapy was over he didn't pass out on his bed! He is starting to feel better all around and not wear out so fast.

His appetite is still poor, but tomorrow I'm bringing him some curry and sticky rice so that should get him excited to eat again. I never thought I would have to worry about him getting enough to eat. hee hee. (Sorry Rome, I couldn't help myself)
Tomorrow the occupational therapist is driving him to our house to help us figure out what we need to change before Jeremy comes home. His release date so far is Tuesday, August 5.

First Field Trip

2008-07-27T20:49:00.001-07:00

Jeremy made it off the hospital grounds this morning. I picked him up for church and the car transfers went very smoothly. Driving up State Street he started to get really nervous. At church he lasted until they finished passing the sacrament and then he decided we'd better go. He was feeling light-headed, tired, and in need of meds. He hasn't been able to sleep well since the accident so he tires quickly. Grandma West and Wilson were with us so they stayed with the girls through the rest of the meeting while I drove Jeremy back. Ayden, of course, took advantage of the situation and made a grand total of three bathroom trips in less than 40 minutes.

Back at the hospital, Jeremy slept for an hour before trying to eat lunch. His appetite wasn't the best today. The most exciting news of the day is that he took care of business on the toilet:) It might not sound so exciting, but we are thrilled.

To Heave or Not to Heave

2008-07-26T18:34:00.000-07:00

Jeremy received top marks on his car transfer today. We are feeling pretty confident about the field trip tomorrow. For occupational therapy he got to sit on a real toilet for the first time since the accident. Very exciting. Unfortunately, nausea came back to haunt him today. He made a speedy exit from therapy in order to lay in bed with a pink tub by his side. He did dry heave a little later but he felt good enough to try physical therapy in the afternoon.

They got him up on the parallel bars again and had him try to walk across. Yesterday they had to brace both legs to keep them from buckling. Today, they only had to brace the right knee. His left leg was able to support his weight with only a little support from his arms.

Not only is he getting stronger, but Jeremy is getting brave. He gets to self-cath and he now gets to give himself a shot in the abdomen every day to prevent blood clots. I have to look away:)

Car transfers and a UTI

2008-07-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

Jeremy got to practice car transfers today for physical therapy. I brought the car around to the entrance and he practiced getting from the wheelchair to the passenger seat and back. It would be easier if he was 5' 3", but we won't complain about that. All the therapists have commented on how lucky he is to have such AMAZING upper body strength. It is certainly coming in handy. I practiced folding up the wheelchair and positioning it next to the car for his exit. He did really well and the therapist said she feels he is worthy of an "off-campus pass." I'm planning to pick him up for church on Sunday. We are all excited (and a little nervous) about the excursion.

The other big news of the day is that they took out Jeremy's catheter!!! Yeah!! Unfortunately, Jeremy gets to self-cath now until his body cooperates. It's no walk in the park for him, but we're happy he's taking one more step towards getting out of rehab.

Even more exciting, we put a superman decal on the front of his body armor(turtle shell brace).

How He Fell On His Buttocks; the true story

2008-07-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

The day was hot, the date July 9, 2008. Jeremy toiled up the steep, rocky path, packing forty pounds of paragliding equipment on his sweaty back. At the top of the “Y,” Jeremy baked under the July sun for a few hours, waiting for the air to calm. Before take-off he told his instructor that he was too tired to try thermaling. He planned to fly straight to the landing sight at Kiwanis Park in Provo, Utah. Little did he know that this, his sixtieth flight, would also be his last (or so we think at this point).

As Jeremy soared closer to the park he noticed a lot of turbulence in the air. After making many S-turns to manuever the landing, Jeremy realized the thermals were keeping him up to high. Hoping to land quickly before the next glider came in, he decided to make a long sweeping turn away from the park. Unfortunately, once he came around he realized he might be too low to clear the power lines and trees at the park. Jeremy chose to try an emergency landing on a residential street free of power lines.

(tarzan yell) WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!

The right wing of the glider hit a tree, spinning the left side around. The glider collapsed leaving 15-20 feet of air between Jeremy's backside and the asphalt. There wasn't time for him to get out of the reclining postion. He landed on his rear end with only an inch of padding in the harness to cushion the fall.

He immediately realized he couldn't move or feel his legs. A woman came up and asked him if she should call 911. "Yes, please," he answered. People rushed out from their houses. A paraglider/fireman argued with the police over what to do with Jeremy. Jeremy simply said, “Shut up.” Luckily, Jeremy crashed on a street where resides a camera man who works for a local TV station. Identified as ‘an unidentified man,’ Jeremy received his five minutes of fame on the news that evening. We haven’t actually seen the spot yet, but we have been informed it shows him being loaded onto the ambulance. While riding in the ambulance, Jeremy remembers the pain coming on strong. The morphine wasn't enough. He was taken to UVRMC in Provo and admitted to the ER.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…Jeremy’s beautiful wife Wendy was busily preparing two luscious pies for her grandfather’s birthday. She recalls praying that her lemon meringue pie would set. While hurrying the girls out the door, she received a suspicious phone call. Believing it to be a telemarketer she almost hung up. The words ‘husband’ and ‘hospital’ finally caught her attention. She dropped the girls off at grandma’s and, along with her lovely mom, drove to the hospital, prepared to laugh at her husband for landing himself in the ER and berate him for adding more expense to his expensive hobby. Needless to say, she decided not to laugh at or berate him…yet.